Update in English

Hi Folks,

Today I have been here for almost six months. Six month full of new experiences, changes and challenges. Six months of a Wisconsin country life and I grow up every day. Those months were the most exciting time I ever had in my life and I am thankful for every single second I had.

Well, more than a half of my exchange year is almost over and it feels like the weeks and days are getting by faster than before. How I feel about that? It makes my heart sink, I’m not lying. I still remember counting down every single day till my departure. The nights, I couldn’t sleep because I was too excited thinking about how it would be. There were so many thoughts going through my head.  I will never forget the feeling I got in my stomach when I received the first message of my host family, the feeling of saying goodbye to everything familiar. 

“You’ve built a life for 16 years and leave it for ten months. You’ve built a life for 10 months and leave it forever. Which one is harder?”

I found this quote on the internet and I think it describes exactly my year in America. Even though I left Germany for ten months, I left everything knowing that I would be back, that my family still would be there and that I would return to my school. But leaving my American home is much harder. I know that my American family will always be there for me, but it’s still not the same. I just can’t imagine giving everything up and especially leaving the people I learned to love behind hurts. I just have two homes and two hearts. 

So yeah Christmas is just over. I actually never thought that those days ever come. My sixteenth Christmas and I didn’t celebrate it with my biological family. Instead, I’m thousands of miles away from my homeland in a country with a different language, not having an “Adventskranz” or no presents on Christmas Eve. And let me tell you, it feels freaking weird, not in a bad way though. It just makes me realizing a lot of things. I’m on a different continent basically living with strangers, celebrating Christmas and my birthday and all that far away from everything I’ve ever known in my life and honestly it feels great and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Another thing I realize is that I really have a second family now. I mean it’s incredible how you can get attached to people so much in only 5 months. How you can build relationships that will last a life time. Being away from Germany makes you also realize who your true friends are back there and it makes you realize who actually cares about you. You learn a lot about true friendships. And I’m more than proud to say that I have a few amazing people back there who are still there for me. It’s not about texting every day or „skyping“ constantly,  it’s about always being there for you, giving the best advice and support you.

I realize that Christmas is not about the traditions or presents. It’s about the people you love. And when you have amazing people around you every Christmas can be special. And that’s what I have. I have an amazing American family who loves me more than anything and so do I. I’m blessed to have these people around me who became my family in such a short time. But all I want to tell you is that you always have to be thankful and proud of what and who you have.

The thing that makes me happier than anything else here is my relationship to my host family. I love my Host Family. I know I can tell them everything what’s on my mind and they will listen to me. I never thought that I could get attached so much to somebody that it feels like real family. And it’s pretty cool to have two mums and dads, two sisters, two brothers and four grandmas, one in Germany and one in America. I feel as comfortable in my host family as I felt with my natural family at home. It’s just a good feeling and I guess that’s the reason why I didn’t get homesick yet. I have the feeling that my home right now is here. It doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my family and friends back in Germany but I know that they are doing well over there. 

Thinking about leaving them in 5 months makes me already just nearly crying. I know it’s far away from today but you know time flies. Time is going on and you can’t stop it. On the one hand it’s sad but on the other hand it forces you to make the best out of your life and to enjoy work time as much as you can and don’t waste it.

Sometimes I wish that I could just stop the time and enjoy one single moment for ever. I wish that these days here never end. But I know that’s not possible. On a certain day I have to go back. To my old life which won’t exist anymore at all. I will return to my old home. Things will be the same and totally different at the same time. When I talked to a friend the other day, she said:’ We don’t have to be sad that it’s time to go back we have to be happy that we got the chance to do it. ‘, and that’s true. This year will for our personalities. And we make friends and meet people that we will never forget.

„An exchange year isn’t a year in your life; it is a life in a year.“

The important thing after this year is to bring these two experiences, these two lives together to form my personality. From then on I will have two homes, two different passions in me which will try to work together every day. 

I left Germany to start my exchange year, to start a completely new life, which is different from everything I have known so far. I made lasting memories in those five months, not only ones to remember but memories which changed my personality. It’s weird to say exchange makes you becoming a better person, but you improve yourself and you learn to care about things that are really important. And you realize that the things are more important than others and you realize what really matters for and your life, only the things and people you have. They make you realize how blessed you are and how thankful you can be for everything. It shows you how strong you actually are that you made it so far in your life. But the most important thing is that you realize that you fulfilled your biggest dream, the dream of being an exchange student. And that makes you proud. You understand that you maybe never would have made it so far without experiencing the things you went trough. Even if some bad thins happened at some point of your life, they only make you just stronger and suddenly you understand that everything happens for a reason.

The fact that switching from English to German isn’t as easy as it was before but switching from German to English feels natural now confuses you. I guess these confusions are normal and a part of growing up and this experience. You start questioning who you actually are and who you want to be.

Doing this exchange year was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. It was the right thing for me.    

I hope you liked my first post in English and there are more coming.

Anna.